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| can I do it? |
Forgive and Forget.
THAT STUNG. The freaking stung, Yeah sure I can put up the I don't care attitude, but deep down these things affect me. ALOT. She even posted TWO statuses that were glaringly obviously about me. I deleted every single photo I had of myself. Two reasons, one was because of that mean mean mean comment and another because I don't look like myself in ANY of the photos. I feel like if I were to meet the people in real life, I would somehow be 'disappointing'. But that's another deep thought of my mind for another day.
So well, I ended up in the same class as her. I decided to ignore whatever happened, ignorance is bliss you know? So well, I just went along with life, until yesterday during school cocurricular activities, she suddenly said she wanted to talk to me.
She apologized. I was rather shocked but meh. Then she told me that someone had told her to do it, which makes me rather more pissed. I just told her it's fine and all that and I had forgotten about it. Which I had.
Which brings me to my statement. I am not a person to forgive AND forget. I can only do one, and most of the time it's the latter. I forget, but now and then when I'm about to fall asleep, my idiot mind would creep up and remind me of what happened. I'm a revenge-seeking person, I will not lie. Many times when people do stupid stuff to me I forget it as time passes. But I don't forgive. I find it ironic, how I can turn a blind eye but still feel that revenge-seeking attitude creep up in me everytime I see that person. Maybe as more time passes, I forgive. But I never TRULY do it on purpose. When a person apologizes and I say it's okay, I'm just saying I'm willing to forget about it. Every scar is still there, each yet to be avenged.
Unless of course, with the amount of studying I'm doing, my brain runs out of space and deleted my revenge list.
Pssh.
Rayne.
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